The thought of leaving him comes to her mind sometimes, as she believes
he finds his friends and drinking buddies more important to him than she
and the children are to him.
S3 does not think she is alone but she has trust issues with the pólice or
any government agency including the barangay when it comes to GAD and
VAW. She has already reported him at the barangay because she really
finds financial support from her own means as difficult to sustain.
“Tiene vez, yo lang solo el ta gasta para con el familia, que arroz, vianda,
leche o cosa (Sometimes, I am the only one spending for the family,
whether rice, viand, milk or whatever).”
“Este COVID, dol no hay gat sila pakialam. ‘Abla jende puede man tomahan,
pero igual lang man, ta puede sila ase pasecreto (During this COVID, they
act as if they didn’t care. They said, drinking is not allowed, but it was just
the same, they were able to do it secretly).”
Researchers’ Observations: S3 has been bearing out with the financial
difficulties. She nags at him when she is up to her neck only with the
finances. His drinking buddies are his comfort zone and it is possible that
her fellow wives in the friendship circle of her husband could relate with
her, only, she preferred not to bond with them.
Analysis: S3 is a survivor of economic violence. Money is the root cause
of their frequent quarrels, as his meager income simply goes to fund his
drinking sessions.
The husband is immature in understanding his
responsibility as father and head of the family. However, young as she
may be, her voluntary desistance in pressing charges against her husband
is brought about by the fact that she herself has no financial capability to
pay for the proceedings and the corresponding documents needed in the
legal process.
Survivor 4
S4 has been a live-in partner for 11 months in their abode in Mercedes but
has recently been separated from her partner when the pandemic hit the
city. They have one child, whom she is raising and supporting on her own.
She has been slapped in the face, a frequent occurrence while they lived
together. He has boxed her in her forearms, and has kicked her in her legs
“Jende le puede aguanta si jende le comigo manda senti (He cannot control
himself unless he gets to physically hurt me).”
33
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