She has many times thought of going to the barangay, but her husband
does not change. It really is his attitude, she was thinking. But she always
thought of her children and their future. Were it not for the hildren, she
would have left him a long time ago. “Tarda ya yo quiere deja con ele pero
pa que laya el maga bata?”
She admitted that he has been abusing her for years, but she continues to
do her best in keepingthe family intact. It was always her who gets hurt so
she finds the situation bearable. She stated, “No quiere yo engranda el
maga bata que no hay tata. Siguro, si queda ya gayot bien duele y na maga
bata le sentí duele, alla ya gaha yo rebenta (I don’t want my children to
grow up without a father. Perhaps, if the pain becomes too much, and he
hurts the children, that’s the time I will burst).”
Researchers’ Observation: S2 is martyr-like. She does not appreciate her
own rights as a person. She believes that love for her children is measured
by her endurance with the kind of relationship she has sustained with
their father. She is not conscious of human rights nor is she aware of VAW.
Analysis: S2 underwent psychological, economic and emotional violence.
The father of her children has, for more than two decades, not valued her
being a woman, not even as mother of their children. His constant threat
was his leaving her and their children (per her narrative) has begun when
the eldest child was still a toddler, and had only 2 children. This means she
has tolerated the abuse as part of the culture within the domestic confines
for twenty-two (22) years. While the neighbors hear of their quarrels and
the barangay officials have kindly advised her what to do, and pólice have
encouraged her to file charges, she voluntarily and involuntarily desists in
advancing her complaint.
Survivor 3
S3 has been married for six (6) years, and has 2 little girls with her
husband. Per her narrative, her husband has been often under the
influence of alcohol and has a group of drinking friends that he hangs out
with regularly. Although he does not hurt them physically, he does not
give her and the children money for support.
The little amount that he earns is not substantial to support the family as it
mostly goes to his drinking buddies and their sessions. At times she
quarrels him when he does not give her money as she finds it difficult to
manage the family’s expenses for survival.
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