but am already fine. I can manage to raise my child even without him,
because he abandoned us and merely left us. At first, he was saying that
my child is not his even when she really is. Even when it really hurts, I will
not insist ourselves on him).”
Researchers’ Observation: S1 loves her husband but feels shunned, after a
series of emotional let downs, and rejecting fatherhood and its
corresponding responsibilities. She has been trying to shield her true
emotions as she pretends to be secure and confident.
Analysis: She however needs moral support to gain courage yet in a way
that she gains confidence in her self. She is a hurting mother. She does
not value much the support of the barangay VAW focal team as she just
sees this as a grapevine starter.
S1 underwent psychological and emotional violence. The deepest wound a
man can inflict in a woman’s heart is disowning her child as his.
S1 could be willing to file charges against her partner but since they have
been together for about a year, and there has been no physical violence
inflicted on her and the child, she involuntarily desists in filing charges for
economic support against her partner.
Survivor 2
S2 has been married for 24 years, with 3 children aged 24, 23, and 18, and
they live in Mercedes. All these years she has been experiencing
ocassionally getting slapped in her face by her husband, being shouted at
in a loud voice oftentimes loud enough for children and neighbors to hear
especial when he is drunk. He was fond of insulting her with expletives
and at times the words have verbally degraded her being a woman. He
would mock her.
“Si boracho ele, ta queda ma-uy (When he is drunk, he goes amok).” When
he goes amok, he has been beyond her control. “Si boracho ele, dol katukkatok ‘le. Cosa-cosa el ta entra na su cabeza (When he is drunk, he acts
like he is crazy. A lot of nonsense fills his head).”
S2 has been experiencing threats from her husband for a cut-off from
financial support which is why she and her children bore the pain and
humiliation in the neighborhood all these years. “Cada rabiao ‘le, y
boracho, el su pirmi amenaza, jende ya le canamon suporta. Paque ‘chura
ya lang el maga bata (Every time he is angry, and drunk, his threat always
is, he would no longer support us. What could happen to the children)?”
31
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