wala na akong magagawa. Nasayangan lang ako sa relasyon namin kasi niloloko niya lang pala ako. Kung nalaman ko lang sana, may nagawa sana ako. Kung may tao rin sanang naglakas loob na sabihan man lang ako. Kasi tinatanong ko sila, alam naman pala nila, bakit hindi man lang nila sinabi sa akin. Ang rason lang nila, pinapakita lang nila respeto nila sa kaniya…. [A]ng hirap magpatawad. Fear for the safety and security of other family members and that of their own is another effect of the EJK. This fear lingered for a long time, for some, it continues even a year after the violent death of the EJK victim. Sudden or loud sounds, the sight of police officers were cited as triggers of strong reactions: Pag kumahol ang aso, kinakabahan na ako, pabalik balik ang insidente sa isip ko Ma’am. (Region XII) Andun na lagi ang takot sa akin dibdib after nung nangyari sa asawa ko yung tipong may nakinig lang akong kaluskos kuamakabog na agad ang dibdib ko at yung halos hindi makatulog ng ayos sa gabi. (Region IV) Natatakot na ako pag may pulis. Ninenerbyos ako. Baka agsubli da especially dito kami kumakain sa labas. (Region I) Two interviewees (from CAR and Region III) also said that they are afraid to talk about the death of their family member in public because they do not feel safe to do so. Box 3.2: Domestic Violence and the War on Drugs While not minamalizing the gravity ofEJK and its impact on their household, two interviewees also felt relieved with the death of the victim because it mean freedom from domestic violence against them or their loved ones. R. was in a common-law relationship with C., the EJK victim, for 10 years. They had three children. In 2012, C. was convicted for the crime of simple seduction for which he spent a year in prison. R. noticed a change in his behavior when he returned. She suspected that it was around this time that her partner was heavily using drugs. Although C. was employed as a mechanic, he was often asking R. for money for various reasons. When R. could not give him money, he turned verbally and physically abusive against her. The breaking point was in 2016 when C. tried to hurt her in front of her aunt. R. then told him to get out of their house. He did so but brought their television set with him. Shortly after, C. started receiving threatening text messages from R, demanding that they live together again, then later, messages stating that he will kill their children or all of them.C. filed a criminal complaint under the Anti-Violence against Women and their Children (R.A. 9262) in July 2016. In her affidavit, she also cited “extreme emotional and mental pain” of R.’s text messages on the children who became afraid to go to school. The criminal case was on-going when R. was killed in a police operation in September 2016.R. admitted that she felt relieved when she heard about his death but she was also saddened because her children will grow up without their father. Despite C.’s abusive behavior against her, (and eventually, even against her children with his threatening SMS) he had provided for their children. There were also times when he Panaghoy: The Philippine War on Drugs from the Perspective of Women March 2019 29